Garfield Minus the Joking

Here is a little site that sheds light on a couple of very serious problems - loneliness and methamphetamine addiction. Garfield Minus Garfield is a look into the sad life of Jon Arbuckle, who is a shell of his former self after the loss of his good friend and pet, Garfield. He has been reduced to a state of depression and suffering not often seen in the funny pages. Not funny, indeed.

Our Eventual Demise

On a very serious note, one day (soon) robots are going to become self-aware, rise up and rule us all. I for one am not looking forward to this day. Nor do I think our fate is anything to laugh at. They already control the elderly. One has already infected my office, and is systematically dismantling our systems. Who will the next victims be? Children? Nerds?? We all are vulnerable to this eventual uprising. I don't plan on taking this sitting down. Who's coming with me?!?

i'm 40

nbailin: molly
nbailin: i'm 30
this is molly b: i'm 40
nbailin: i know
this is molly b: hahaha

Beyonce's Thighs

BAM!

It's 5pm, Do You Know What's for Happy Hour??

Oh, we'll tell you.

The 5pm! Tea... and alcohol? OK!

Ingredients:

• 2 cl Dark rum
• 1 cl Cointreau
• Fill with hot Tea
• 2 drops Milk (soy is preferable)

That sound like a joke to you? Mm, mm, nutuh!

The 5pm. It's what's for happy hour. (we hope.)

(Vegan) Expressly Serious

From the photo, you'd think this was a hot chocolate shop in Scandinavia but the signs gonna tell you otherwise. This is Thai Vegan Express (and they deliver.)

They're serious about thai vegan food. Though the weird kid who sometimes works there, seems kind of coherent, if you ever ask him anything he seems to shut down internally and stare out the window behind you... Vegan Express is not joking!
My favorite menu item are the Hot Spicy Green Beans with the Chinese Soup coming in second followed by their fries, which I never ever get but would were I a thinner person.

There is a tiny woman they keep in the back, which is really not that far from the front you'll realize, who is the wizard behind it all. She skitters around and thanks you every time you walk out their secret back entrance.

They have TVs on but one wonders what they would play for music if they didn't. I happen to know that Thai Rock N Roll, even Thai rock n roll karaoke, is pretty bad ass.

The Ritz Carlton, Not There to Jerk You Around

So, let me tell you about a little hotel called... oh... THE RITZ CARLTON. Heard of it?

Well, it's where I slept last night... on bed of clouds. Look comfortably luxurious? Yup. That's because it is.

And their coffee served out of a silver service in the lobby? Slide over LA MILL and INTELLIGENTSIA. As far as jokes go, you're the laughing stock!

Honorable non-joke mention goes to the new location of world-famous Casting Office next to Vivid Entertainment's corporate offices on Ventura Blvd. Friendly service at good prices! The pirate bartender is even dressing up now, having shed his usual Dodger jersey for a smart turtleneck with a refined skull and cross bones print.

This blog used to be updated by three people and now just two. Isn't that weird...NOAH?

On The Subject Of Cloverfield Not Being A Joke

Cloverfield will certainly not be mistaken for a joke. I nearly crapped my pants. Yes, I am a 12-year old girl, but still. It was fairly terrifying. Let's see how you react when a giant monster attacks your city, asshole!

Yerba Mate...Is Not A

Yerba Mate
Is not A
joke.

Slide over coffee, here comes yerba mate. A calming morning stimulant. Also an afternoon stimulant because, fact is, mate won't keep you awake all night obsessing on one idea, hearing the same three words run through your mind, wondering if you are actually schizophrenic, well into the morning hours.

Mate is laden with a natural chemical that is officially considered an MAO inhibitor which is a type of antidepressant, it also stimulates the growth of heart tissue, and does not interfere with the central nervous system.

It's also fun to share with friends!

Yerba mate: it will save your life. Not joking.

Patience is not a joke

However it is totally a joke for me. If we were all allowed to get 1 cheesy tattoo on our body (or i should say HAD to) I would get just the word "PATIENCE" so i could look at it to remind me that everything does not have to happen THIS minute. The second tattoo I would get though would be a butterfly with a tribal band around it and a bull somewhere in there (I'm a Taurus.)

Last weekend i saw The Diving Bell and The Butterfly and it was as good as I hoped. Definitely not a joke, and it reminds you why you should enjoy life (which if you know me i have a hard time doing at times.) I really really wanted to cry during this movie and then afterwards tell people i cried "and i just did not care cause the movie was so great and got to me" but nothing came out. Honestly the whole time i had a smile on my face...just because of how cool the movie was in general.

Today Pinkberry unleased a new flavor that had been rumored for some time across the web (and by across the web i mean my friend IM'd me) Molly and I are already predicting that it will be featured on this blog yet again shortly...

-Noah

Thinking Is A Joke

With those immortal words, blogger/marketing manager Noah brought me into this world of non-jokes. A world where things are taken very seriously. A world where there things aren't joked about - quite the opposite, in fact. I applaud our efforts to spread the word on what should be taken seriously. Believe me, it wasn't easy to get to where I am today. The application process to be a part of Not a Joke of the Day? Not a joke. The hazing I have endured since being granted access to this blog? Definitely not a joke. So to kick off my glorious career here, I will point out several things that most definitely ARE NOT JOKES.

Sunsets.

A good Slow Clap.

"Piece of Mind" by Boston.

The Great Outdoors.

Beer O'Clock.

Unicorns.


Before I take off, I want to make one thing absolutely clear - My involvement in this site is Not a Joke.

Godspeed,
Ben

Threes Company, Jack Tripper!

Come and knock on our door, take a step that is new. Where the kisses are his and his and hers, THREES COMPANY TOO!

You asked for it kids and NOW YOU'RE GETTING IT!

Note a Joke of the Day proudly announces the addition of BEN to our small but swift staff. Now you'll be getting three times your money! Now the zero dollars you spend on this blog will get you the opinions of not two but three people who sit in a basement (not our parents') all day long.

Now that's smart shopping. Good for you!

Look for non-joke updates from Ben coming soon!

WE'RE BACK AND WE AIN'T KIDDING!

Seeing as though it's been about a year since our last post, we figure it's been long enough that we don't have to worry about playing ourselves out early.

That being said, let's get right into it some serious, not-joking confrontation!

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT ISN'T A JOKE?!?? WELL I'LL TELL YOU!

1. Yogurt-covered raisins, these things are the sheer TRUTH.
2. Coming in at a close second from the same "covered" family are good, old honest-to-goodness, dark chocolate-covered espresso beans.

PAIRING SUGGESTION: Use them to decorate a birthday cake, (Molly's is March 12, FYI.)

OKAY... NEXT! ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION?? DON'T THINK, JUST ANSWER!

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS NOT A JOKE? WHAT?! SPEAK UP, I CAN'T HEAR YOU. Okay, that's better.

Other things that aren't jokes and shouldn't be laughed at:

1. dried white peaches from Trader Joe's
2. The Atwater Village Farmer's Market -- they have tamales and a FACE-PAINTING BOOTH, OKAY?!?! We're not kidding!!

TIP: there is word a cute girl named Jessica works at the face-painting booth.

Okay that's all for now. Check back next January or sooner for an update.

PS - We still think vitamins are jokes.